I am going to start this thread and keep it at he top of the queue for people to put jokes they hear or find. This will be a place you can come when a thread gets to serious and you need a little comic relief.

Here is one I just read.

Why do guys give their cock a name?

Because they don't want 90% of their decisions made by a stranger.

LOL! Good one.

Étienne

A husband calls his wife on the phone and asks her to tell him something that will make him angry and happy at the same time.

She tells him

"Of all of your friends, you definately have the biggest cock"

Good one.

How about some jokes not affliated with cocks?

Okay, the balls (joke intended) is in your court. Give us a good one.

haha...nice.

ok...

What do you call a lesbian eskimo?


A Klondike. hahaha.

....all in good fun.

Yes, all in good fun.

This is an old one which everyone has probably already heard, but here it is anyway:

Three Nuns have died and are met at the gates of heaven by St. Peter, who tells each Nun that they have to answer a question correctly in order to enter heaven.

St. Peter to the first Nun: who was the first man on earth?
First Nun: why, that was Adam. Whistles start blowing, bells start ringing and the first Nun enters heaven.

St. Peter to the second Nun: who was the first woman on earth?
Second Nun: why, that was Eve. Whistles start blowing, bells start ringing and the second Nun enters heaven.

St. Peter to the third Nun: what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?

Third Nun: my, that's a hard one! Whistles start blowing, bells start ringing---------

My apologies. LOL

Monty

It may be old but I had,'t heard it before thanks for the morning laugh. A good way to start the day.

Ihope none of the Aussies take offence, but these were told to me by an Aussie.

A guy from Tasmania gets married. On his wedding night in the bridal suite, he is getting naked with his new wife and she says, "Bruce, please be gentle with me, this is my first time with a man"

Bruce panics, he has never been with a virgin before, hell, he doesnt even know any !!

He runs into the next room, and calls his father for advice.

"dad, what do I do with Sheila, she's a virgin !"

the father says, "son, stay right there, I'll be there to collect you in 15 minutes. IF SHE ISNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER OWN FAMILY, THEN SHE ISNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MINE"

Not a lot of words but the pics on this site have me cracking up....

http://www.googlyeyesoncock.com/galleries/?g=one

Glad I could start your day off with a laugh!

Best,

Monty

Those are cool, Lady Constanze; thanks for sharing.

Monty

Sgt. Joe Friday and the Copper Clappers

That is one of the all time classics, I had forgot about that one.. Here is another one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M

Hah, that was good

Thanks Hardenough - I forgot about that one as well.

What a cool idea - a stress therapy thread. LOL

Irene

This is kinda long but....

A traveling salesman walks into an empty bar, except the bartender of course. He sits down, orders a beer and a shot of tequila. He pounds the tequila and downs the beer even faster. The tender asks the salesman if he's having a bad day and if he needs a laugh. As he replies yes, a monkey jumps up from behind the bar and on top of the counter, and just stares at the customer who isn't laughing. The tender asks him if he is ready for his laugh as the monkey starts jumping up and down. The salesman says yes and then the tender pounds his f*st hard on the monkey's head. The monkey goes berserk and begins to run around the bar, knocking chairs and tables over. The tender runs from behind the bar and claps his hands hard, the monkey responds by running over and unzipping his fly, then proceeds to suck his dick. The salesman can't believe what he is seeing and asks the tender to do it again...f*st pounds the monkey's head, monkey goes apeshit, tender claps his hands, monkey unzips fly and sucks his dick. The salesman laughs and says that looks pretty good, the tender then asks if he would like to try. The salesman says sure, but you don't have to hit me on the head that hard!!


SC

Good one, thanks for posting it.

Here is a softer one............


Two cannibals are visiting a carnival, they get hungry and decide to eat the first thing they see which happens to be a clown. In the middle of the dinner one begins to turn ill and says to the other....."Hey, does this taste funny to you?"


SC

Three guys walk into a bar... the fourth guy ducks.

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she
knew what hole he was playing. 'I'm on the 7th hole,' she replied, 'and you are a hole behind me. So you must be on the 6th hole.' He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached her again with the same request. 'I'm on number 14, and you're still a hole behind, so you must be on the 13th hole.' Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw
the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often. He approached her and said, 'Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you're in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. What do you sell?' 'I'll tell you, but you're going to laugh,' she replied. 'No, I won't.'
'Well, if you must know,' she answered, 'I work for Tampax.'
With that, he laughed so hard he lost his balance and fell off
the bar stool. 'See,' she said. 'I knew you'd laugh!'
'That's not what I'm laughing at,' he replied, 'I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you.'