A Boss generally doesn't like time *waisting.

U may b right.

Wow, some of these letters are amazing, and not in the good way.

This one cracks me up. I can picture a drunk slave, vodka bottle in hand, staggering around the grounds of the OWK looking for his collar

And the "private Mistress" that exists only in his imagination.

i kneel before You, face to the floor, palms raised. i am in awe of Your presence as i offer my pathetic request to serve and suffer for Your pleasure, Mistress. i hope it is my destiny to continue to learn and develop my abilities as a useful slave under Your remarkable and dominant leadership.

i am a 24/7 slave with four years of experience in serving FemDom Mistresses and their friends. i have been trained in obedience and extreme disciplines, including pain, piercing, and use as a human toilet and attaced a long time. Although French is my primary language, i am also able to speak English. i am able to clean, shop and cook for your pleasure (French, Japanese, Chinese and i am more than happy to learn other cuisines as required by You). i have also taken massage courses and have received certification for foot massage therapy; it would be my honour to serve you in this capacity as well. i am 27 years old, i am a non-smoker in good health. i would never want to assume any interest in my service on Your part, but if it pleases You to know basic, statistical information about me, i am 6’1” (186cm) tall and i weigh 175 lbs. (86 kg).

i know that i am not worthy to kiss the ground You walk upon, Mistress but my only wish is to serve You in any way that You see fit.

humbly at Your service,

I got that one too. I thought it was some sort of flesh trade scam ...

Hey! I got that one too.

Gotten a whole bunch from that guy ... I know a mistress who bought some raw liver, soaked tampons in the blood and then mailed them to this dude.

He was not pleased and never purchased from her again.

Gotten one from him too. Poor babies. I suspect they don't do much more than send out emails.

Thanks for sharing, Irene. I'm glad I'm not the only one who saves their ridiculous email; it really would make a fun coffee-table book.

Get ready for hundreds more - coming right at ya!

Irene

Hi,

Thanks for your email. My client is interested in
safe, sane and consensual bondage and discipline,
Domination and submission and sadism and masochism

He is due to be in the United States in 3 weeks time
on vacation. He will be there for 14 days and will
need your service for this length of time. From 8pm –
7am daily. Let me know hat your rates will be.

Most times my calls to the United States are blocked
and this has to do with the network so if you do
accept calls like this, then I will give you a call.

The Deal: In exchange for the grace of your company
(no sex or performance on your part). I offer my
services has full-time servant, you may consider me at
your disposal for:

-Domination and humiliation/transference bitch - feel
free to take your
bad day out of me. Beat the crap out of me.
-housecleaning and maid service: fixing you a drink,
lighting your cigarette
-attendance & rejuvenation doing your nails,
shaving/waxing your legs,
brushing your hair, massages
-cooking
-any computer work / web-design that is needed, I'm an
IT consultant by
trade.
-minor home and automobile repair
-errand running: carry your bags while shopping
-overall clerical support: phones, emails,
appointments, bookkeeping
-When venturing out I'm an excellent TG, I can be the
clubbing-girlfriend of your dreams.
-As I will be under your charge I would also be
available to contributing to the household coffers by
prostituting my self to homosexuals or men as a
transvestite.

Please note that while I will welcome the possibility
of having this relationship indefinitely, I will never
at no point in time wish to assume the role of the
dominating man or your protector - you are to be mine.

Which is why this role is ideal for a lesbian couple,
as they should be able to draw emotional support from
each other and utilize me as a prop.


Me: I'm a good looking male (not a Man!) in my late
20's in need of female companionship / protection.
This does not mean that you are obligated to provided
my any service other than just being somebody for me
to talk to as I perform duties for you.


You: I don't care how old you are, what your race is
or how you think you look. Basically I need somebody
that looks feminine and is not enormous.

Why: I need to be dominated and controlled by a women.
I just want some company, somebody to take care of. A
complete failure in all life's pursuits, I have
previously resolved to just end my life. But I figure
at least this way I can serve some function with the
few good years I have left.

Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Dear Irene,

This is Dave in St. Louis.

I am, as I'm sure you have realized by now, very, very, very intriqued by you.

You, like I, have a college degree.

Let me see if I can forward something that might pique your interest's.

Dave in St. Louis

He is "posing" as his Mistress sending these emails.

You and Dave *both* have college degrees, Ma'am? What are the odds? You were clearly made for each other.

Reverently,

Étienne

Irene,
I will be as brief as I can as I know how valuable your time is. We had a very short phone conversation with you Wed evening. I am sorry for not keeping my mouth shut. I was very excited and nervous to be on the phone with you and when my pulse went up, my mouth opened. It was not my intention to be rude or try to be controlling of the conversation.
When calling, I knew that because I have no real experience as a submissive, that I didn’t deserve to have a session with you. When searching in the past for someone to dominate me, I have not been able to find anyone serious about it for anything other than their financial gains. It is pretty easy for me to spot a fake and a girl with sexy boots and a riding crop with no clue of what she is doing is not where I wish to spend my time or money.  Also, my safety and privacy are a concern to me and I know these are things that your compound provides. This has me desiring a session with one of your guest doms.
Though I’ve never been in the presence of a professional like you, I have tried to work being a submissive into relationships and there is no thrill there without a skilled and strong minded woman. This is new to me, but something that I have desired for years.
Areas of interest to me are bondage, foot and boot worship, mild CB torture, and dildo training/strap-on domination. I have no interest in receiving intense pain or being whipped. I have had a rubber/latex fetish from a very early age and have always had a thing for boots. I am a pretty bright person with a great imagination who knows that the mind is more powerful than the body.
I won’t take any more of you time and thank you for considering this. Once again, I am sorry for my behavior on the phone. It was never my intention to be rude and show a lack of respect toward you.

It is something very unique, but I really need a mistress with really no pity.  The scenario is simple you are fully dress and protected in a full latex catsuit wearing a good gasmask that I can provide you with.  Then you fill the room full of paralyzing gas and abuse me while you are protected behind the mask Is this possible?

That sounds so hot!

Silent butt deadly? Perhaps I should eat pea soup for a week and do this session. How much should I charge for this...
Break out the latex fart pants with the hose and attach it to a mask for his *deadly* experience? I assure you he would retch!

Ms Boss

Aaarrrggghhh ... now, I'm starting to feel nauseous and queasy!

<G>

Have mercy!

I can make it even better if he has the session at my special time of the month. I am particularly smelly and nasty then.

Ms Boss

Oh my ... aaaarrrggghh ... now I'm really nauseated! <G>

Just got this gem sent to me at My Space:

You very sexual I would like that you have connected me and have shaved to me a head, it very much raises me