I know it never works out. I know it's more work for me than it should be to have a boy helping around the place. I know I'll end up having to chase said houseboy around the place because he doesn't really want to serve, he wants to play and chat and hang out and spend time with me and not clean my floors AT ALL, but dammit all, I want a houseboy.
I am sorry Mistress that you cannot find someone who puts you ahead of themselves.
There are two rules that I abide by when serving my Mistress.
1) Mistress is always right.
2) If Mistress is wrong, refer to Rule 1.
Following the above has made my life so simple when serving Ms Servalan. As I am sure She has told you, there have been times when She has known I have been very 'unhappy' with Her. But, as She has said to me afterwards, "You were not rude nor disrespectful". And She does not expect me to be superhuman and not have feelings.
So it is at these times that my rules keep me from not being of service to Her. At all times She is my Mistress, I am her slave, always. It is a boundary that is never ever crossed. Nor even bent nor even pushed a little.
The upside of this boundary is that we can both relax fully in that there can be no false perceptions or misunderstandings about actions or words spoken on either side. I can tell her I love and adore Her with all my heart - and She accepts that love, knowing fully how it is intended. She can ask me to do anything, knowing that I will be seeing the request coming from Her solely as my Mistress.
Being of service is not for everybody. It has to be, in my opinion and experience, unconditional. There can be no expectations of any kind of receiving brownie points. There can be no expectations of praise or acknowledgement. I do preen a little (ok maybe more than a little) when Mistress in someway acknowledges me publicly. It is nice to be thanked and I am human. However, it is never looked for or expected, so when it does happen it is all the more special.
It is over 27 months since Carisbrook was born. I have served Her tirelssly over that time. I have never received a free session, nor even a discounted session and the paid length of our sessions are no more I am sure than others whom She sees.
Indeed, I think I would be embarassed if She offered me a freebie for it is not what my service is about. I serve Her; and I think this is what is missing from the mindset of many; because it makes ME happy. Why does it make me so happy? Because I know it is making Her life easier. It allows Her to spend more time on the things She loves to do. To spend more time with Her friends and the ones She loves. And THAT makes Her happy.
When I clean Her home, I try and stay out of Her way. If I have to walk through a room that She is in, I do not look at Her, I try to be unobtrusive. Mostly, I talk to Her only if I have to ask someting or if She speaks to me. I am allowed to be in Her personal space to be of service, not to chat Her up or impose myself on Her time. For the purpose is to give Her more time to Herself, not take it up.
It is about being of service to Her, not about me getting access to Her on a private or personal level.
I am not alone in this service. There is another who serves her just as diligently. He can type his own words if he wishes.
I'm afraid it is hard to find someone who has the right midset to be of service in the way you want it to be. Ms Servalan has on various boards mentioned how lucky or fortunate She feels She is to have slaves who are so devoted to Her. Devotion, like respect,cannot be commanded. It has to be given freely. Mistress has my utmost devotion and that also makes it easy to serve Her.
I hope Mistress Wynter that you find the right someone very soon.