This is my interview with Mistress Xena of Chicago. We had a fantastic time talking, and I hope you enjoy it.
Here is her website:
Mistress Xena xoxo.
Me:Okay. Ready for the questions?
Let me pull them out, heh.
mistressxena_chicago:ok
Me:Okay, here we go...
How did you get in to the business? You mention in one of your interviews you were trained by a couple. Had you an interest in BDSM before? What made you decide to contact them, or vice versa? Who has also influenced you?
mistressxena_chicago:The contact actually approached me.
They were intrigued by my look, and I was so young
I had an interest in BDSM as a teenager. I read BDSM oriented books and magazines.
Me:How did they find you?
mistressxena_chicago:They found me at a goth club. They were both tops in the public eye. In the bedroom, they switched. I experienced becoming a bottom, when I played with them.
It was sexually arousing to me. I wasn't a slave girl or anything. Just very kinky and experimental.
Watching the movie, 'Secretary' (with James Spader) really made my jaw drop, back then.
Me:So... you did it because you wanted to experiment, but do not remember having a need for submission or dominance in the bedroom?
Oh, he is soooo sexy, although the movie seems tame, today.
mistressxena_chicago:With boys I dated, I was Dominant in the bedroom. To them, that was a turn-off. They wanted to be in charge. They weren't used to a girl spanking or tying them up.
Me:That is very puzzling to me.
mistressxena_chicago:But with the couple, I wanted to get to experience the feeling of... being bound/gagged, whipped by a single tail/floggers, etc.
I grew up in a rough neighborhood, here in Chicago. If someone was gay/lesbian, they'd keep it in the closet. The gays/lesbians were always picked on in my high school. I was bisexual, and I wanted to keep it my naughty little secret. I didn't want to be picked on. So yeah.... once the young boy broke up with me, he told his friends how much of a 'freak' I was.
Me:"Young boy" meaning, high school boyfriend?
mistressxena_chicago:Yes.
But after high school, I felt 'free'. I wanted to immediately move out of that neighborhood, into a more laid-back neighborhood. I moved to Lakeview. back then, it was flooded with gays/lesbians, kinksters, goths, punks.
Me:So you obviously followed them to a club, where you met the couple?
mistressxena_chicago:Correct. I wore a very shiny outfit, which is why they approached me. All pvc. I was 18yrs old.
Me:Tell me a bit about what the scene in Chicago was like. A lot of people in NY like to reminisce about how wild and permissive it was back in the day... was the same in Chicago?
mistressxena_chicago:Yes. It was the same. Back in the 80s and 90s, it was much wilder. I was way too young, but I would hear all these stories from my friends. It was much open & wild.
Nnow, it seems as if it's very conservative here.
And even in nightclubs here, not many people go 'all-out' in fetish gear/wild makeup/bizarre hair-dos.
Me:Yes, that is lamentable.
I blame it on the lack of trannies.
mistressxena_chicago:I love trannies.
Me:Yes, they make any party more fabulous.
mistressxena_chicago:I still dress up in my rubber get-ups. I tell people, 'yes, wear rubber'. But nowadays with the economy, it's difficult for some to afford good rubber attire.
Me:Yes, it is very costly.
mistressxena_chicago:I throw fetish parties here in the city
http://bondagenightchicago.com, and I always encourage people to dress up & look fabulous. Some men that show up don't even bother dressing up. They say they can't afford a fetish outfit. It's a little aggravating.
Me:Yes, that is a common complaint with party promoters that i know.
I am unsure whether it is laziness, or a reluctance to wear shiny materials.
mistressxena_chicago:Laziness. Or with some, I've said to dress casual. Then the question would be asked, 'so, what is casual'? A nice shirt, dress pants, dress shoes is casual (in my opinion).
Me:People should definitely wear black.
I can understand not wanting to buy an outfit you feel you will look ridiculous in.
mistressxena_chicago:And some, if the outfit is ridiculous, I make them get naked in front of the audience. Too many shy boys. I love making fun of a nasty cock. It's important for the boys to amuse the Mistress, make her laugh.
Me:Oh, indeed.
I made a sub sing, "I Touch Myself" at a karaoke bar last week.
He might as well of been naked.
mistressxena_chicago:LMAO. I absolutely love public humiliation. It's a thrill. Makes my day. A good laugh is a Must
Me:Yes, nothing wrong with a little harmless fun
How long have you been in the scene?
mistressxena_chicago:It's going on 10yrs, in the summer. Wow. Time flies.
Me:How old were you when you started?
mistressxena_chicago:Started as a pro when I was 19 yrs old. I wanted to be trained by the couple, gain knowledge on bdsm/fetishism, and I wanted to be trained by other experienced players.
Me:Oh, that is young! You were a pro before you met them [the couple]?
mistressxena_chicago:I met them when I was 18. A year later, I became pro.
I started to work at a house, so I can be trained by the head-Mistress. I also wanted to play with the other Women, as well.
Me:You could play with the other women?
Could you tell us which house it was?
mistressxena_chicago:I mean...... conducting double-Domme sessions.. Using 1 slave boy per session. Group sessions were so fun (gangbangs, in particular, were a thrill).
Back then, it was called , "Chicago Dungeon". Now, it's called, "Chicago Illusions". After 8 or 10 months, I wanted to work for a different house. Back then, it was called, "Worship Our Feet".
Me:The place?
The place was called that?
mistressxena_chicago:The 1st dungeon was called, 'Chicago Dungeon'. The next dungeon I worked for was called, 'Worship Our Feet'.
Me:"worship our feet"??
mistressxena_chicago:Yes, indeed
Me:That is a hilariously straightforward name.
mistressxena_chicago:The sessions that were offered were more 'sensual'/'erotic'. Yes, very straightforward.
Lots of foot sluts in Chicago. Can't get enough of feet. I wasn't there long at all. it was too 'sensual'. So I moved to another house afterwards..... It was called, 'The Sanctuary'.
Or 'Lilith's Sanctuary'. That dungeon no longer exists, as well as the 'Worship Our Feet' place.
Or 'Lilith's Sanctuary'. That dungeon no longer exists, as well as the 'Worship Our Feet' place.
So in 2005, I was introduced to a Independent Domina (Mistress Simone is her name). She stated that she wouldn't mind having a Woman or 2 to work out of her Studio. Her & I hit it off, and I decided to become an independent Domina.
I had a clientele... access to a private Studio. And I partnered with Simone. I'm glad I've met Her. Now, We have a new Studio. It's a much bigger & better dungeon space in Chicago. It's owned by Simone, Ms.C, and I. Independent & Established Dommes rent from Us.
The website:
The Studio Chicago Me:Yes, your studio looks really terrific.
mistressxena_chicago:Thank you.
Me: It would be difficult to try procure that amount of space in NY.
mistressxena_chicago: That's why we welcome Dommes to rent from us. It helps, big time.
I'm from the north side of Chicago. I reside in the south side. The dungeon is also on the south side. The rent is a WHOLE LOT cheaper than the north side.
Me: A lot of places can seem cluttered and cheesy.
A Chicago dungeon should totally be on the south side!
mistressxena_chicago: Our studio is... drama free, clean, spacious, fully equipped.
Me: Clients should be a little afraid, I think.
What sort of kid were you? Were there any indications that you would be dominant? Looking back on your behavior...
mistressxena_chicago: Yesterday, my client offered to walk me to my truck (after our session). But it's safe. People have that mentality that the south sider's will kick your ass. But if you f*ck with them, then they will.
I was a tom-boy. Bully (towards my cousin & sister), honors student. The dominant side came from my father.
Me: I know absolutely nothing about Chicago, only that the south side was once a not so nice place.
mistressxena_chicago: He was the head of the house. He was always in charge. That wore on me.
Me: You emulated him?
mistressxena_chicago: The south side has changed, big time.
My paps had a strong personality. My mom (on the other hand) took his orders.
And sometimes, I didn't like how they treated each other. They were both teenagers, when they had me. Very young parents.
Me: So... you felt you wanted to be more like him?
mistressxena_chicago: Correct. I wanted to be in charge & have my way.
Me: Did you beat up any boys?
mistressxena_chicago: Yes. I remember chasing a gangbanger with my baseball bat. Baseball was my sport. I always played. But when someone pissed me off, I made sure they knew of it.
Me: Oh, I love baseball!! Are you a Cubs fan?
mistressxena_chicago: Nooo. White Sox fan.
Me: Ah, of course. They've actually won a championship recently.
mistressxena_chicago: 2007
I was a tomboy. I really became a little fashionista, starting in 7th grade.
Me: Is there any activity which you enjoy now which you never thought you'd like? Can you describe the situation in which you discovered this?
mistressxena_chicago: Tickling. Before, I thought it was silly. Now, I tickle boys all the time. it's humorous, and I never realized how much of a fetish it is. A LOT of men love being tickled. Tickled til' they piss their pants, tickled til' they cry. I love watching their face, while I tickle them.
What else...? I never got into needle play. I hate needles
Me: Oh, tickling is very very painful.
Yes, I read about the needle thing on your site.
mistressxena_chicago: I despise needles, in general. But I can become tattooed. Just for a short period of time. I become 'nauseous'.
Me: At the mere sight, or if they touch you?
mistressxena_chicago: Both. I'm a wuss in that department.
Me: I used to think that needle play was weird until I actually tried it. Now it is one of my favorites.
mistressxena_chicago: When I have nurse/patient scenes (2 Dommes/1 patient), I let the other Domme do the needle work. And I'd have to turn my head.
Me: There is a subtlety to the pain which is wonderful.
mistressxena_chicago: She'd handle the needles, and I'd administer the enemas.
Me: What do you like about enemas?
mistressxena_chicago: A lot of boys love enemas. I love it when they have to run to the bathroom, to release themselves. .. . or watching their face, when they develop cramps. lol. it's hilarious. then once I have a clean ass, then it's time to f*ck that ass.
Me: Ooh, I love the man ass. I like it to have a bit of hair, but not too much.
mistressxena_chicago: Meeeeeeeeee too. Meat. Easy meat. Whores that lose their power over a bossy Dominatrix. Hair is okay. Not a huge ball of bushy butt. BLAH.
Me: This might gross some people out, but i actually really love the shape of it, and puckered pinkness, and the smell. Some are foul, but i have had some wonderful bouquets.
mistressxena_chicago: Nice.
Me: I like the control that an enema gives. Do you mix your enemas with substances which are especially difficult to hold? Like lemon juice?
mistressxena_chicago: No lemon juice. Good idea. I've had requests for champagne enemas, but I refuse to do that to the patients. Usually, I use plain water, or a little bit of soap, or Epsom salt.
Me: Obviously, You're into music, as you're a dj. What kind of music is it? Where do you spin? How did you get into djing? What is the "most played" song on your iPod?
mistressxena_chicago: I dj, occasionally. It's industrial/electro classics. I spin at different night clubs. It's more of a hobby, really. I used to spin 1x a week at a club called, 'Vision'. It's in downtown Chicago. Same genre of music.
Now, I don't spin much at all. The most played song on my ipod is anything by Skinny Puppy.
Me: A hah! I have no idea who they are, but they sound freaky.
mistressxena_chicago: Skinny puppy from the 80s.
Me: I'm sure if I heard their most popular song, I would recognize it.
mistressxena_chicago: They are wonderful people. Ogre (the singer) was a character in 'Repo-The Genetic Opera', with Paris Hilton.
Me: Oh. My. God.
mistressxena_chicago: If you haven't seen the movie, you've got to see it. It's a 'dark musical'.
Me: There was an opera with Paris Hilton in it???? What?? What??
I am Netflixing it now now!!
This is almost as amazing as "Trapped in the Closet"!!!
mistressxena_chicago: This song is pretty popular by them:
Skinny Puppy It's called, 'Pro-test'
Me: Ooh, there's break dancing!! Will they battle with each other?
mistressxena_chicago: Yep. It's a popular tune by them.
Me: Amaaaazing!!
mistressxena_chicago: http://www.repo-opera.com is the website for the movie.
Me: I actually think I do know a few goth kids who can break dance.
Rap and industrial music are historically quite intertwined.
mistressxena_chicago: I grew up to hip hop/house music. I became introduced to industrial, as a teenager.
Me: My god, Paris Hilton will do anything for attention.
mistressxena_chicago: Yes she will. She can come over to our dungeon , anytime. I'd love to have her serve me. She has to dress like a slutty maid, though
Oh yeah... I even have a music station. lol. [url=http://www.blip.fm/missxena][/url]
Me: Oh, awesome!
So.
As a music person-
As an industrial enthusiast-
I have one question...
mistressxena_chicago: Sure.
Me: Is it really true that the lead singer of Depeche Mode is not gay? Because people keep telling me that, but I cannot accept it.
mistressxena_chicago: True.
Me: Man! Okay.
mistressxena_chicago: He's HOT.
Me: Indeed.
So, as a gamer, do you hate "World of Warcraft"?
mistressxena_chicago: YES. BLAH!
Me: I think that it's horribly boring.
mistressxena_chicago: I never got into that mambo-jambo . As a gamer, I love chess... playing 'Twister' (naked twister, of course. lol), My playstation.
Me: If i want to do boring, mundane shit (like walk around), I will fucking do it in the real world.
What about Pacman?
mistressxena_chicago: LOVE pacman.
Me: What's the highest board you've gotten to?
mistressxena_chicago: Oh dear. I don't remember.
Me: You can't beat Pacman, can you? I mean, it just keeps going and going endlessly, until your eyes bleed or your television explodes or something, yes?
mistressxena_chicago: I'm not sure if I can. It's been a while. I try to not become a couch potato & get wrapped up in tv/games. I love being active in other ways.
Me: No, me either.
mistressxena_chicago: I've been fortunate to not ever having to wear glasses. If I screw my eyes up, then I would be an unhappy camper.
Me: There is a bar near my house that has a bunch of old video games, so I go there to play Galaga sometimes.
Oh, I wear glasses, I like to. It is sort of my trademark.
mistressxena_chicago: Which bar? Maybe I've been there.
Me: It's called Barcade.
mistressxena_chicago: I love that title. lol
Me: Oh, it's really so cool there.
mistressxena_chicago: I don't think I've been there. I like games in bars. Is it in the east side? Chelsea?
Me: They just need a jukebox with lots of AC/DC-- then it would be perfect.
It's in Williamsburg. I live in the BK.
mistressxena_chicago: Ok. never heard of that part of town in the BK?
Me: Yeah, oh, it's Brooklyn, not Burger King. It's on the North side, off the L train.
mistressxena_chicago: Oh. OK.
Me: It is the home of disgusting hipster people.
mistressxena_chicago: I need to pay a visit to NYC, soon. Very soon. I've been saying that, but something comes up. Grrr.
Me: You should!
mistressxena_chicago: Lol. Hipsters. They're crawling all over.
Me: They're a virus with shoes.
How would you describe your Mistress "style"?
mistressxena_chicago: Style.... Sadistic, Strict, Bossy, Erotic... It's my way, or the highway. But on the other hand........ I'm very laid back, fun and caring
Me: For the people in this forum who might want to come see you- what is your screening process for new clients?
mistressxena_chicago: Screening process......... references to past Mistresses. I should have some newbies put down a small deposit. I've tried that. But all of them have stated, "Oh, I don't have paypal". So I don't really do that.
Or if they find my ad in the paper, they'd say, "Oh, I have no internet". HELLO... this is fricken 2010. get a computer WITH internet!
Me:Ha ha! Yes, I feel like people use that as an excuse to call me sometimes. Too bad I never answer my phone!
mistressxena_chicago: YEP. I never answer, if the caller has an 'unknown' or 'private' I.D.
Me:So, if someone wants to come see you, they should send a polite email, and include references...
mistressxena_chicago: Correct. Or tell me (over the phone), their references & interests. Someone today kept me on the phone for 11 mins. I try to keep a limit. 7 mins the most.
Me: Yes, well, when someone wants to keep you for a long time, they obviously want to get something out of you, so the chances that they will book a session or be a safe sane player go down by the minute.
mistressxena_chicago: Correct.
Me: Please tell us a bit about your videos, and what new things we can expect.
mistressxena_chicago: Videos include a wide variety of fetishes, that cater to many people's interests....... wrestling, feet, tickling, anal, fisting, teasing, humiliation, bondage, etc. New things to expect... I'm planning on working with more & more people, who are interested in becoming a slave in the videos.
My boyfriend films, or my slave. It's progressing. I edit & upload all the footage.
Me: Are you currently looking for new slaves for your videos?
mistressxena_chicago: Correct. They don't have to have the acting experience. I usually improv in films.
Me: What characteristics do you most cherish in a good slave?
mistressxena_chicago: I have the scene planned in my head.
Good slaves........... loyal, I have to trust them, clean (no drugs/alcoholic people allowed), and will bend-over-backwards for their Goddess.
Me: Very good.
mistressxena_chicago: I just received a text from my boyfriend. Since this is Cake & Cunnilingus day, he baked a cake for me. He has never ever made a cake.
Me: That's all I have, please enjoy your day!
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