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#67853 - 05/13/10 11:28 AM
Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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Ok.
So this has been on My mind for awhile now and it seems that with every passing month, it gets stronger.
I am not one to be extremely social and go to alot of parties or events. Why? Cause I have other things in My life, cause I had My dose of the party scene when I was 21, and I am not a social butterfly. Give Me a small crowd with people I know in an atmosphere in which W/we can hear each other and have fun and I am a happy person.
I get invited to alot of parties, and I think it's kinda odd that it is expected of Me to attend ALL of them, cause if I don't, I don't support BDSM. I find that kinda weird. Since when does going to mass amounts of events make a good Domme or scene supporter?
A huge reason I don't go to many local events is, as many people know and I am not shy to say, I am a Mommy to a young child. She is My priority in life, as I am the one she relies on for everything. Alot of My friends know I have a kid, and it doesn't bother them. They give Me alot of props for putting her as number one in My life (behind Me of course, as without Me, there is no her) and respect Me for it. The funny thing is that other people who don't know Me yet think of Me being a mommy as a crutch.
I am being judged by a bunch of people that don't wish to be judged for being a mommy? QUE?
It seems that many people in the scene, lifestyle and professional, look down on "Mommie Dommies" (I LOVE that phrase btw) for setting priorities on their kids. I know alot of people don't wish to have kids (I was one until it happened, accidents do happen and it's an accident I am happy with), but it doesn't mean that I am incompetent in My skills or talents or friendship! Just because I can't get out to a party every freaking week!
In NYC, My biggest complaint is that most parties are on days I just can't make it. (Thursdays and Sundays). It's kinda hard to party till 2-3am and head back home to be up and take My kid to school in the morning and then take care of domestic things and professional things the next day after a party. Maybe if the parties were on Fridays and Saturdays (you know, days in which people can actually go have fun and have no worries about the following day) I would go to more and meet new people and hang with friends. But because I happen to have a kid to take care of, the scene tells Me that I shouldn't have to bottom to My kid or job or family. WHAT? I am all for having fun, letting lose, enjoying and engaging in kink, but really? Really? Sorry for having a major priority in My life that is MY responsibility!
Responsibility is what I believe in. W/we are responsible for O/our lives but at times (like being a parent), W/we are also responsible for those too! If I didn't, then I would have "Worse Mother of the Year" award around My neck like a gold medal. But because I take responsibility for My life and what is in it, I am looked down upon. That is highly confusing to Me.
I don't look down on people that engage in scat, or force bi, or feet, or being strung upside from a ferris wheel with flaming nipples, so why look down on Me for being a parent? And because I can't make it to the party?
Ok, rant over.
Switch Lydia
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#67858 - 05/13/10 02:21 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Hoodman]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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Really? It's that hard to find? NO! That is why I get slack from people, cause I am one of the rare ones that has a kid. I am sure you would make a great dad, hood. And you would treat that young Lady like a Queen!  Switch Lydia
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#67860 - 05/13/10 02:38 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Switch Lydia]
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misstressellen.com
Registered: 04/28/08
Posts: 2033
Loc: San Diego, California, USA
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So. Miss Lydia, allow me to paraphrase:
You see ... clueless people.
Shrug. So often, people just do not fathom that everyone is not just like them. It is frustrating, but it is also their loss, not yours. Understanding is a beautiful thing--one that you have and they lack.
Now, excuse me, but 500 of my closest friends have a lighters, bedpans, and a ferris wheel waiting...
Respectfully,
Étienne
_________________________
Many are the Fin-backs, and many are the Dericks. -- Herman Melville, Moby Dick
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#67865 - 05/13/10 03:40 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: etienne]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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Thanks etienne! Make sure it's a Zippo lighter! I have found it odd that because I am a Pro, a kinkster and a parent, that somehow drops Me down a peg with respect as to why I can't jump gun and party all the time. I have also found that same mentality among fellow kinksters when they find out that I am monogamous and not looking to play personally with others. It appears that I am the close minded one for having a kid and only person in My life that I engage sexually with. Since when was that a bad thing? Shrug. Oh well. Like I said, those close to Me like Me for Me! Switch Lydia
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#67874 - 05/13/10 07:05 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Switch Lydia]
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forum advisor
Registered: 10/07/07
Posts: 1980
Loc: Pittsburgh PA
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Ok.
So this has been on My mind for awhile now and it seems that with every passing month, it gets stronger.
I am not one to be extremely social and go to alot of parties or events. Why? Cause I have other things in My life, cause I had My dose of the party scene when I was 21, and I am not a social butterfly. Give Me a small crowd with people I know in an atmosphere in which W/we can hear each other and have fun and I am a happy person.
I get invited to alot of parties, and I think it's kinda odd that it is expected of Me to attend ALL of them, cause if I don't, I don't support BDSM. I find that kinda weird. Since when does going to mass amounts of events make a good Domme or scene supporter?
A huge reason I don't go to many local events is, as many people know and I am not shy to say, I am a Mommy to a young child. She is My priority in life, as I am the one she relies on for everything. Alot of My friends know I have a kid, and it doesn't bother them. They give Me alot of props for putting her as number one in My life (behind Me of course, as without Me, there is no her) and respect Me for it. The funny thing is that other people who don't know Me yet think of Me being a mommy as a crutch.
I am being judged by a bunch of people that don't wish to be judged for being a mommy? QUE?
It seems that many people in the scene, lifestyle and professional, look down on "Mommie Dommies" (I LOVE that phrase btw) for setting priorities on their kids. I know alot of people don't wish to have kids (I was one until it happened, accidents do happen and it's an accident I am happy with), but it doesn't mean that I am incompetent in My skills or talents or friendship! Just because I can't get out to a party every freaking week!
In NYC, My biggest complaint is that most parties are on days I just can't make it. (Thursdays and Sundays). It's kinda hard to party till 2-3am and head back home to be up and take My kid to school in the morning and then take care of domestic things and professional things the next day after a party. Maybe if the parties were on Fridays and Saturdays (you know, days in which people can actually go have fun and have no worries about the following day) I would go to more and meet new people and hang with friends. But because I happen to have a kid to take care of, the scene tells Me that I shouldn't have to bottom to My kid or job or family. WHAT? I am all for having fun, letting lose, enjoying and engaging in kink, but really? Really? Sorry for having a major priority in My life that is MY responsibility!
Responsibility is what I believe in. W/we are responsible for O/our lives but at times (like being a parent), W/we are also responsible for those too! If I didn't, then I would have "Worse Mother of the Year" award around My neck like a gold medal. But because I take responsibility for My life and what is in it, I am looked down upon. That is highly confusing to Me.
I don't look down on people that engage in scat, or force bi, or feet, or being strung upside from a ferris wheel with flaming nipples, so why look down on Me for being a parent? And because I can't make it to the party?
Ok, rant over.
Switch Lydia
I agree with you completely. You have your priorities in order, and in the end your child is going to be the beneficiary, as well as you. I wonder about the people who can't accept that a professional has a life outside of bdsm. Subconsciously, do they think that the individual, Domme sub or switch, is exclusive to the lifestyle, and perhaps by extension to them? Do they get jealous because the object of their fantasies is a woman with a family. I use that phrase object of their fantasies quite on purpose, because I believe that such individuals invalidate the professional's right to have a fully-functional life outside of D/s, and objectify her in their fantasies. It is not an attractive trait, and coupled with a more perverse personality, might even be dangerous. You have a life, and that's great. A lifestyle isn't a life, and those who confuse the two and then make a claim on you that way, implicit or otherwise, have the real problems.
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#67881 - 05/13/10 11:05 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: jim_pittsburgh]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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*A lifestyle isn't a life* I like that jim. Why, because it's true. A lifestyle is not a life, and I personally do not see 24/7 a reality. In theory, in fantasy it's great. But in the real world (the one where things happen) it's just not possible. It's just amazing HOW MANY people in the scene are so anti-parent. Let Me change that, anti-parent to young children. If I was 52 with a teenager, it would be brushed off and no worried. But because I am 29 with a kid in kindergarten, it appears that it's no different than having a swastika tattooed on My forehead or a huge red A on My chest. I am a professional, therefore I am a product in a way and I will be the object of fantasy to many people. I am fine with that cause I know I have a life outside of BDSM, and Me knowing that is the most important thing. Plus, after spending hours on end dealing with BDSM, the last thing I want to do is head out and deal with more people into it as well! LOL Sometimes, it's great to veg out and get vanilla or even just get balls to the wall kinky with My man! Switch Lydia
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#72584 - 07/18/10 09:57 AM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Switch Lydia]
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Big Dick Playa
Registered: 10/21/08
Posts: 1241
Loc: The Beautiful Beaches of Akron...
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It seems that many people in the scene, lifestyle and professional, look down on "Mommie Dommies" Dear Lydia, These people are obviously fucktards. Look how awesome your tiny child is; she is evil-fucktarded-grownup-Kryptonite! Not only does she force them to show themselves, she also repels them! Way to fight evil, tiny spawn of Lydia! Also, how many parties can you go to before it becomes the same lame boring-ass party? For me, it was 5. If you've seen one asshole hanging upside down with shark hooks through his knees, you've seen 'em all. Kisses, M
_________________________
"The meat industry spends hundreds of millions of dollars lying to the public about their product. But no amount of false propaganda can sanitize meat. Eating meat is bad for human health, catastrophic for the environment, and a living nightmare for animals"--Chrissie Hynde
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#72594 - 07/18/10 01:24 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Switch Lydia]
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MsReganBlack.com
Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 761
Loc: New York City
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Hi, Lydia- I am extra happy you could make it to my birthday party! Conveniently on a Friday  Honestly, I don't really go to scene parties, either. Arriving home from a fetish party at 430 in the morning when I have to be up at six to get ready for work is irresponsible. I am also prioritizing my needs over other people's by not going out. A little networking isn't worth being tired and useless the whole next day, particularly for someone who doesn't care much for public play, anyhow. -Regan
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#72597 - 07/18/10 03:31 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Miranda Rider]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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Miranda, She really is evil! It is amazing to Me to see that at only 5, She can manipulate a situation to her likening, pull off the attitude with the hands on the hips, and make sure she is heard over everyone else! LOL (In reality, she is My little darling. ) Now, that is TRUE! Seen one, you seen them all. The same people, different clothes. I would rather be at home getting My rocks on with My man and watch a great movie or cartoons after in the nude. At least I won't have to go outside to smoke at home, just the bathroom. LOL Switch Lydia
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#72598 - 07/18/10 03:33 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Ms Regan Black]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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For You, Regan, it was total fun! Once in awhile is great, like a special occasion like a birthday party, with limited people. When it's a full force function that brings out the whole city or cities, it can be a bit too much. And yes, I agree! Why go out till about 2-5am when one has things to do in a few hours, like work or school, or get those dependent on you to school? It's not worth it. And I personally prefer My clients in a more intimate private scene anyway. I am not all that big on public play. Maybe because I am not an exhibitionist. Switch Lydia
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#72609 - 07/18/10 06:17 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Switch Lydia]
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forum member
Registered: 12/13/08
Posts: 151
Loc: california
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Lydia
You are a gem because you are so genuine as well so talented.
You have a child and that is so wonderful because You are a caring person and that makes you such a valued person.
I would love to escort You at event like Folsom.
You a credit to a caring mom.
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#72663 - 07/19/10 01:41 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: jcu]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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@jcu Thank you so much for the kind words! If I ever find Myself in Cali and Folsom, I would love to make some new friends to show Me around! I think it can also show, that bitch I may be, but caring motherly bitch I am! (Maybe that is why so many wish to go over My lap with their pants around their ankles....LOL) Switch Lydia
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#72664 - 07/19/10 01:58 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Switch Lydia]
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forum member
Registered: 12/13/08
Posts: 151
Loc: california
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Thank You so much. Well, trying to sponsor You out here for Folsom would be a cool.
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#72700 - 07/19/10 07:01 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: jcu]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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That would be! But with My upcoming Bday trip to Florida in a few weeks, then DomCon in Atlanta in October, then Phoenix for Xmas, I am not sure I can do much more traveling this year! Maybe next year! Switch Lydia
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#72762 - 07/20/10 02:33 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Ms Boss]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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Yep! I can't wait! H and I are fixing the hotel issue We are having right now, but My flight is booked! My first DomCon! I still have to fill out My app for Cyan, and then just wait patiently for October to roll around! I can't wait to FINALLY meet up with My online sisters and online friends and admirers, and those in the ATL area I have travel to Me! Switch Lydia
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#72800 - 07/20/10 11:39 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Switch Lydia]
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misstressellen.com
Registered: 04/28/08
Posts: 2033
Loc: San Diego, California, USA
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I can't wait to FINALLY meet up with My online ... admirers Like me! Respectfully, Étienne
_________________________
Many are the Fin-backs, and many are the Dericks. -- Herman Melville, Moby Dick
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#72852 - 07/21/10 02:23 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: Hoodman]
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misstressellen.com
Registered: 04/28/08
Posts: 2033
Loc: San Diego, California, USA
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i've met some fun Moms in my day. MILBSB? MILBTUB? MILBDB? MILBWB? None of those have much of a ring as terms. Exciting ideas, though.
_________________________
Many are the Fin-backs, and many are the Dericks. -- Herman Melville, Moby Dick
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#72943 - 07/22/10 01:27 PM
Re: Scene rant....what is wrong with that?
[Re: etienne]
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Professional Switch Bitch
Registered: 01/16/09
Posts: 947
Loc: NYC
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Oh etienee! I can't wait to meet you and Mistress Ellen! Switch Lydia
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