1). Greetings Ms Irene! I would like to ask, what inspired you to become a Mistress, and, how has it molded you?  This can relate to in and out of the dungeon.

Irene Boss: My inspiration had to do with fetish imagery I had seen at a very early age, consisting of exotic high heels, exotic makeup, smoking, rubber, and verbal taunting. I saw a trailer from a film of a very haughty woman being devious towards the camera dressed up in such finery and I was very attracted to her. I wanted to be just like her! I had fetishes too, which was unusual. I used to daydream all day about corsets and fashions, and spent hours with my friends playing dress up with makeup. I was also very athletic and spent a great deal of time outdoors. In my teens I subjected my boyfriends (who were always older than me) to my BDSM desires which often consisted of sex in public places (the thrill of possibly being caught), some sort of restriction (I usually used my pantyhose) and some sort of game or role play. I liked tying my boyfriends up and I was quite dramatic. I was also fond of hitting and slapping, ect. This was not the consensual play I do now – I was somewhat abusive towards men in my teenage years. I was sadistic. My first adult sexual relationship with another woman was like this too. I am someone who has sadism “in me”, and it surfaces with certain people who are masochists.  I firmly believe that we all have some of the other in all of us (sadism and masochism), but most of the time one overrides the other, and this makes us what we are able to define as mainly. Most of the scene I do as a pro Domina are bondage oriented.

2). How do you identify with dominance in connection to the female spirit?

Irene Boss: I feel Female energy (which is Matriarchal) is life giving and therefore “positive”. This contrasts sharply with S/m, which is very close to the energy vibrations of death. Art also has lower energy vibrations, so I am not being hard on S/m, but too much time playing S/m games is not good for anyone. Interestingly, I was in the arts for many years before I became professional S/m artist and I have this in common with many other Dominatrices. The dominatrix is an interesting character, because she is a woman (nurturing life giver) who plays with the lower libidinal energy and ideas of other people who are frequently men. The dominatrix is therefore a juxtaposition of a woman. The dominatrix is also infused with male war lord energy. I feel that the energy of the dominatrix is more masculine than feminine, though the appearance of the dominatrix is often glamorous, she can be a beast. She can get away with it because of the beautiful shell. Costumed, perfumed, bejeweled, feathered, ect…this is not the woman you picture in your minds eye pushing a baby carriage. She is the opposite of the wife, girlfriend and the sister. She is everything a man should not want about a woman but that is precisely why a man will want her. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of Dominatrices have children. Plenty are sisters and girlfriends. But this is not the thing that attracts a man to want to have a session. What attracts a man to want to have a session is this dark mysterious energy that looks like female on the outside, but is the devil on the inside. A Venus flytrap / mantrap. So in essence I do not feel that I am experiencing my true female spirit when I am practicing as a professional Dominatrix. My female energy is off hiking somewhere, riding horses, picking flowers, feeding birds, doing yoga, writing this interview... My masculine devil spirit is upstairs on the 3rd floor cracking bullwhips at some poor slave tied to my pillory. Yes I look feminine while I am dressed up as the Dominatrix, but there is nothing soft about me in my leather (or rubber) armor. My mind is hard and fixed upon being 2-3 steps ahead of my crafty slave and what a dance we are having and what a field trip I am taking him on! I am his commanding officer and he is my warrior. We are in the trenches, and I have been given permission by him to take his soul for an hour or two, in order to kiss some death for a short time. How alive he will feel afterwards!

Men and woman are attracted to a female dominatrix to experience the fist in the velvet glove. It’s more intellectual than sexual too. You do not hear of hot sessions consisting of “no direct sexual contact” between male masters and female slaves, so Female Domination is therefore more intellectual and idea based, more about the brain and less about the body, though the body is very important. I firmly believe Female Domination exists on a professional level in this society because it is a Patriarchal society and the thing men most want (sex with women) can also be used to control them, and they like this control! Men like to be teased by the dominatrix. The man wants the dominatrix precisely because he cannot have her and this makes her more desirable than any other woman in the world. The dominatrix turns the following on its head: “Bad girls say yes and good girls say no”. The dominatrix says no, but she is a bad girl so what does that mean? This is a sexual paradox.

3). Within the D/S, B/D, and S/M communities, it is apparent that the female figure is seen as a guide. However, how do you see the female figure as such, in normal everyday life?

Irene Boss: I feel that in much of life woman are actually in charge. Women make many decisions, but men still control more of the money. Money equals power in our society. Women are in charge of many smaller details then men are, because women have the natural ability to multi task. Have we taken on too much and given up on the big picture?

It’s easy to blame all the ills of our world on men, and in our country on one man (namely our president) but it’s not practical.

In the world of D/S, B/D and S/M females clearly do have the advantage professionally in this intellectually sexual arena.

4). What makes you such a survivor?  

Irene Boss: My high school art teacher used to tell me that I was a survivor. All my teachers told me that. As a child I heard a teacher say “You can do anything you set your mind to”. I think it is important to acknowledge those who make us what we are. In my case it was more my teachers than my parents, because my father was often away, and my mother was often unavailable emotionally. (I was “different” and she felt it.) My teachers were my parents and friends while I was growing up. I always wanted to appear to be special to them also. I was very lonely when young and felt a great deal of psychic pain. I had an enormous chip on my shoulder. You could say that I have managed to survive myself! Ditching that enormous chip and really growing was psychically painful and didn’t happen fully until I was in my late twenties. I could not tell time or tie my shoes until I was in the 6th grade. I was reading however, very early on. (I am still a book worm, often working on 3 or 4 books at a time.) What enabled me to survive my childhood was probably my love of reading. I would run away as a teenager, and would be found in the school library. They finally stopped looking for me, because at the end of the day I would always get on the bus and go home with all the other kids, so what was the point?

I only succeed if I compete against myself and my own ideas. Paying too much attention to what others are doing is not the right path for me. Is it for anyone? I have spent time on wrong paths in the past, and am lucky to have learned from them. I have been lucky in my life to have been surrounded by people who did not give up on me early, and allowed me to have my own way. I am still surrounded by these kinds of people today.

5). What things do men most underestimate about a woman in your opinion?

Irene Boss: Her ability to be strong minded and not be swayed. Men will disrespect you if you let them. They can’t help it. They are men. Be strong, state your opinion and do not waver from it. Men will respect you for it, because they respect this in each other.

6). What is your description of the ideal and perfect man?

Irene Boss: Now we have the new sensitive caring man. Men are being affected by the 3 waves of Feminism just as much as women! We have male poetic writers talking about their feelings and their lovers, just like women do. Men now go through menopause, just like women. Men have cycles too!

The male bashing that started 10 years ago was pretty funny, but now its passé and it’s interesting to note that men are doing it too now, much more then women. They don’t realize it. I think it’s “television conditioning”. The “massage of the media”. It’s OK to bash men on TV! “Do it to sell products, its funny!” (Well actually it’s not.) The “new sensitive caring man” is something men have created in reaction to what has been going on in society in the last decade, probably in response to the male bashing.

Look at how men behaved hundreds of years ago. Was there anything sensitive or caring about them then? Watch Stanly Kubrick’s Barry Lyndon a few times. (Yes, Kubrick was a bit of a misogynist but we do live in a Patriarchal society. He happens to be my favorite director anyway, BTW.) The point I am making is that there is no “ideal and/or perfect man”, but the “new sensitive caring man” is supposed to fit that bill, but he doesn’t. Men are obviously people just like women. They also control more of the money which means they have more of the power, which means we have a patriarchal society. This is precisely the societal metaphorical exchange of the man visiting the Dominatrix. He gives up a portion of his wealth - some of his power (or his money) right away upon entering her domain.

The ideal and perfect “man” would therefore have to be someone quite poor and servile. Not very many men would want to admit to being that, now would they? Submissive is a game played secretly and indoors by most of the men who practice it. They feel a certain shame about it, and the dominatrix feasts upon that. This is a brutal yet honest analogy.

7). Who are you to vanilla society?

Irene Boss: I get asked the question “Is Irene your real name” fairly frequently. Irene is actually my real vanilla “middle name”. Irene is part of me; an altar ego that I created over 20 years ago. It was part of an art project I was working on that grew and eventually became a vocation. The altar ego became more evolved and almost has an entire life of its own now, much like a clone of my own personal dark and mysterious sexual energy.

As a person outside of my vocation (as Irene) I am guarded about my personal life. I am a practicing yogini (female yogi) with many hobbies and interests. Some of them parallel my D/s interests, and others do not.

8). Do you believe that the BDSM community has progressed in a positive or negative direction since you first were introduced to it?

Irene Boss: I feel that the scene has simply grown due to the invention of the Internet!

9). You are a Sublime Lady Of The OWK. How did this historic event happen in your life, and, what are your thoughts on the OWK?

The OWK organization sent me a letter, inviting me to visit their complex and I eventually went and “found my way”, with regards to my personal extreme Fem Dom fantasies. A few years later I wanted to become more involved, and so I applied for a citizenship and was granted one. I define as a Fem Dom, and Female Supremacy is an interest of mine. It would be unrealistic to say that it defines my entire way of practicing, however.

Irene Boss: OWK is a magical place that encouraged me to study the extreme form of Female domination known as Female Supremacy, and also inspired me to learn how to throw long whips. The OWK organization has been very good to me. They were the first company who distributed my videos, so they really put my name on the map in Europe. I got a lot of confidence from visiting them (10 visits) and observing the other Ladies and Their interactions with their slaves. I have learned a lot from my experiences there. They have done a lot for the confidence of many other Women who are in the adult business as well, and also for lifestyle Women. It is important to know that the OWK is an experience that you “make for yourself”. It is a giant psychological backdrop against which to live out your extreme Fem Dom experiences!

10). What does female supremacy mean to you? Also, do you believe that a majority of people misunderstand what it represents?

Irene Boss: It means the way of the Mistress is supreme. It is matriarchy instead patriarchy. It must be practiced consensually by like minded individuals, or it falls apart like most things when they seem too serious on the outset to outside observers; they become a farcical and ridiculous role-play. It is the most extreme Fem Dom fantasy and therefore the most difficult one for the Woman to maintain over the man. It can be quite exhausting. The men themselves are very militant about the way they want the Women to behave over them; hence the military uniform style of Female Supremacy. You can go as hard as you like (extreme OWK male punishments at Celebrations, and hard Fem Dom videos) as symbolic as you like (The Essemian society where men are servants and work a farm – no BDSM Fem Dom style “play” is offered), as consensual as you like (a professional Ds “session” where Female Supremacy is role played for a specific amount of time), or as “real” as you like (Female Supremacy practiced in the home as a day to day lifestyle).

11). How do you desire to warrant admiration from others?

Irene Boss: I hope it would be my ability to feel compassion and do the right thing, especially in a negative situation. When faced with a negative situation, instead of acting out with my own projections, I try to take a step back and recognize what is really happening with the other person. I try to see the world as something that is bigger than me. Also, I try to follow through on what I say I am going to do, to the best of my ability. I would hope to be admired for having determination.

12). What are some of the stereotypes that most bother you in regard to a Dominant Female OR females in general?

Irene Boss: Referring to Professional Dominant Woman as “girls” (we are Ladies).

13). What are among your other talents in life, besides using the whip?

These things I feel really helped me in my pro Dom vocation:

1). Obsessive reading and many years in higher institutions of learning.

2). Practicing yoga (learning about human physical and metaphysical energy fields).

3). Creative arts (writing, video production, installation, performance, poetry, sculpture, painting, singing, musical instruments).

14). Was there ever a certain experience or event in your life that made you feel sad within? Why?

Irene Boss: It can be sad when relationships end. The growth process is always a painful one but the positive upside is that you do come out stronger in the end!

15). What is the most memorable experience you shall always cherish?

Irene Boss: I went on a spiritual quest in the desert of the American Southwest by myself (right before entering my vocation as a prodom) and peered over the edge of the Grand Canyon. I was at a stagnation point in my life and knew that I needed to do something significant so I could be powerful and feel some happiness, and that it was not to be an actress, or an artist, or a teacher, or torture myself with another advance degree at yet another institution of higher learning (I had already done those things to the best of my ability and that was OK). It was time to do something else! Shortly after I drove back across the country to Pennsylvania, and found out that I needed to be in the Fem Dom BDSM community.